Tossing Batting Practice…..which is what I will likely do in a few hours if I don’t turn off the goddamn tv and go to be before my tournament in the morning.

I did not watch the opening ceremonies, as far as I’m concerned Fencing at 2am is the opening ceremonies of the games of the XXIXth Olympiad. (Somewhere either my 4th grade teacher, or NFL films should be proud of the fact I didn’t need to look that up)

(Saturday 2am ET) Make fun of softball all you want, but women’s fencing, particularly European women are about the most raging lesbians in existence….not that there’s anything wrong with that.

What is worse, one who dedicates their life to fencing, or one who dedicates their life to analyze fencing?
It’s 2:06, roughly four minutes into the coverage of this event, and the Stuart Scott-esque analyst (who may or may not be Gus Johnson’s autistic cousin), has used the term “great action” 6 times, and if he utters the term nice touch one more time I might be required by Comcast to pay $10 for the remainder of the on Cinemax.

This may or may not last beyond this morning, but the random correct sporting term from an obscure sport of the day is sabre.
(And I also can’t help but think of the Aud in Buffalo and those horrific logos of the of Buffalo Sabres)

Transitioning….seriously, those sabres can’t be that sharp looking, why are thsee folks dressed as though they are handling some sort of anthrax laced ebola virus strain?

“This is a big big moment, either she wins or it’s a tie score”…..thanks Joe Morgan, for letting us know that a 14-13 score in a match to 15 is a crucial point.

It is impossible to watch fencing, without hearing the phrase, "my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" play insied your head, followed by a hilarious chuckle.

This will likely be a daily feature

The one thing I want to see more than anything (until tomorrow),
Is the American fencer, (who is clearly fighting lefthanded)to be miked up, and dlip the sabre (I will make an effort not to call it a sword) to her right hand, and say,"But I have a secret for you...I am not lefthanded" only to dominate the match? fight? game? I have yet to determine what the proper name for it is.

If a Great Britian “athlete” (let’s be honest we all chucked at that statement) annihilates an Egyptian participant in crappy-weight (anything short of heavyweight will be hereby known as crappy-weight, or something more creative down the road) boxing is that a victory for Christianity, 900 years In the making?

Is there a more out of place human being in all of China, than Teddy Atlas??? His NY accent is so thick, he couldn’t even get work as an extra in Johnny Sac’s crew on the Sopranos…Not even NBC bothered to try to clean him up for TV, I guess that’s why he’s on at 230am.

So the NBC family of networks is giving me multiple options of channel surfing at 2am oin Saturday of day 1, and only a mere 28 minutes until China Vs Spain women’s basketball on the NBCHD basketball channel.

I think this is going to be a long sleep deprived two weeks……